I've Got My Head Stuck In The Cupboard

June Movie Round-up

2007-07-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

I am soooo slow at getting to my blogs. My New Month’s resolution is get to it more often. Anyway, here’s my oh-so-late list of June movies watched.

1. Smokin’ Aces - When a Las Vegas performer-turned-snitch named Buddy Israel (Piven) decides to turn state's evidence and testify against the mob, it seems that a whole lot of people would like to make sure he's no longer breathing.

I had heard that this movie was so great. Greatly disappointing. None of the characters were very likable and I found the whole thing rather depressing. Too bad because the acting was quite solid.

2. The Queen - After the death of Princess Diana, HM Queen Elizabeth II struggles with her reaction to a sequence of events nobody could have predicted.

I remember that week after Diana’s death and I wondered what the Royals could possibly be thinking. Their lack of recognition of her death seemed to show callousness. It’s good to get a counterpoint to the media’s view of the events.

3. Casino Royale - In his first mission, James Bond must stop Le Chiffre, a banker to the world's terrorist organizations, from winning a high-stakes poker tournament at Casino Royale in Montenegro.

Great Movie!!! The best Bond since Sean Connery (dare I say perhaps even a bit better)! Bond is dangerous again. You can believe that he’s got a licence to kill.

4. Happy Feet - Into the world of the Emperor Penguins, who find their soul mates through song, a penguin is born who cannot sing. But he can tap dance something fierce!

Good family animated film.

5. Blood Diamond - A fisherman, a smuggler, and a syndicate of businessmen match wits over the possession of a priceless diamond.

Strong performances in a great movie.

6. Ghost Rider - Based on the Marvel character, stunt motorcyclist Johnny Blaze gives up his soul to become a hell blazing vigilante, to fight against power hungry Blackheart, the son of the devil himself.

Fun time waster.

7. The Science of Sleep - A man entranced by his dreams and imagination is love struck with a French woman and feels he can show her his world.

A bit of a disappointment from the director of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”

8. Blood and Chocolate - A young teenage werewolf (Bruckner) is torn between honoring her family's secret and her love for a man (Dancy).

Nothing special. Keep moving. Nothing to see here.

9.Hellboy: Blood + Iron - In 1939, young Professor Bruttenholm destroyed Erzsebet Ondrushko, a female vampire who bathed in the blood of innocents to stay young. Now someone in upstate New York is trying to bring her back.

Hellboy is a fave of mine. Good animated film.

10. Breach - Based on the true story, FBI upstart Eric O'Neill enters into a power game with his boss, Robert Hanssen, an agent who was ultimately convicted of selling secrets to the Soviet Union.

This movie is really good. Watch it.

11. Saw III - Jigsaw kidnaps a doctor to keep him alive while he watches his new apprentice put an unlucky citizen through a brutal test.

I find it interesting how much characterization is put into the Jigsaw killer. For those who like these movies, it doesn’t rate as high on the scare count, but in some aspects, it’s more clever.

12. Aeon Flux - Aeon Flux is a mysterious assassin working for the Monicans, a group of rebels trying to overthrow the government. When she is sent on a mission to kill the Chairman, a whole new mystery is found.

This movie is no where near as good as the animated series on which it’s supposedly based on. Charlise Theron was a good choice but almost everything else is wrong from the production design to the transformation of Chairman Goodchild to a good guy!?!

13. The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie - SpongeBob SquarePants takes leave from the town of Bikini Bottom in order to track down King Neptune's stolen crown.

Classic Spongebob! And I’m a Goofy Goober, too.

14. Roman - A lonely young man's obsession with his neighbor gets the best of him, resulting in a murder, a cover-up ... and a potential new romance?

Nice companion piece to the Lucky McGee film “May”.

15. The Road Warrior - In the post-apocalyptic Australian wasteland, a cynical drifter agrees to help a small, gasoline rich, community escape a band of bandits.

Mel before he went crazy. An action classic!

16. Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome - Mad Max becomes a pawn in a decadent oasis of technological society, and when exiled, becomes the deliverer of a colony of children

Another good Mad Max movie

17. Casanova - Heath Ledger plays the fabled romantic as a man who, after failing to win the affection of a particular Venetian woman, strives to discover the real meaning of love.

Fun take on the legend.

18. Bridge to Terabithia - A preteen's life is changed after befriending the new girl at school.

Must watch this again as I was too tired to appreciate it. Everyone seems to love it .

19. Stay - This movie focuses on the attempts of a psychiatrist to prevent one of his patients from committing suicide while trying to maintain his own grip on reality.

Good little mind scratcher!

20. The Tenant - A quiet and inconspicuous man (Trelkovsky) rents an apartment in France where the previous tenant committed suicide

Nice little Roman Polanski film.

21. Dead Silence - A widower returns to his hometown to search for answers to his wife's murder, which may be linked to the ghost of a murdered ventriloquist.

Ho-hum!

22. Batman - The Dark Knight of Gotham City begins his war on crime with his first major enemy being the clownishly homicidal Joker

Tim Burton’s view of Batman is pretty good but not as good as “Batman Begins”.

23. Clerks 2 - A calamity at Dante and Randall's shops sends them looking for new horizons - but they ultimately settle at Mooby's, a fictional Disney-McDonald's-style fast-food empire

Another great Kevin Smith flick.

24. Pan’s Labyrinth - In the fascist Spain of 1944, the bookish young stepdaughter of a sadistic army officer escapes into an eerie but captivating fantasy world.

At first, I was a bit disappointed. I had heard so many fabulous things about this film and I had seen a “making of” special before seeing the movie. My expectations were in the stratosphere and needless to say not met. A couple of months later, I decided to give the movie another try. Low and behold, I now love this film. Go figure.

25. The Fountain - Spanning over one thousand years, and three parallel stories, The Fountain is a story of love, death, spirituality, and the fragility of our existence in this world.

Wow! What a ride. This movie stays with you long after the film is over. Thought provoking, beautiful, well acted and a beautiful soundtrack.

26. The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury - A bridge of the gap between 'Pitch Black' and 'Chronicles of Riddick' to give more insight into Riddick as a character.

Solid animated sequel. Definitely worth a watch.

27. Xmen 3: The Last Stand - When a cure is found to treat mutations, lines are drawn amongst the X-Men, led by Professor Charles Xavier (Stewart), and the Brotherhood, a band of powerful mutants organized under Xavier's former ally, Magneto (McKellen).

Good fun sequel. A little less characterization and more action oriented

28. Lady in the Water - Apartment building superintendent Cleveland Heep (Giamatti) rescues what he thinks is a young woman from the pool he maintains. When he discovers that she is actually a character from a bedtime story who is trying to make the journey back to her home, he works with his tenants to protect his new friend from the creatures that are determined to keep her in our world.

Who cares what the critics say!!! I loved this modern day fable. It has heart and humor and taken on its own terms. It’s a pure winner.

Dammit, I Got Tagged

2007-07-18T15:52:00.000-07:00

Amy the Black tagged me for this meme on June 29th. No one can say I don't react quickly.

Here are the rules:
Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I'm 6'2" with a long torso and medium legs. Now you know what kind of coffin to buy for me.

2. When I was young I got the eraser from the end of a pencil stuck up my nose. I was sent home early. When my father came home for lunch, I tearily told him about how I'd stuck a pencil too far up my nose.

And when I pulled it out the eraser was still lodged in my nasal cavity. Being a handy sort my father went for the needlenose pliers. That scared me to death. After several unsuccesful attempts we tried a different tack; exhaling through the blocked nostril while plugging the other one. "One, two, three, pop!"

3. When I was working as an usher at the Runnymede Cinema, I had the honour of ripping Bob Dylan's movie ticket.

4. The first restricted movie that I was able to sneak into was "Alien" by Ridley Scott. It was at the Odeon Lakeshore theatre in Toronto, which no longer exists. There were only about two other people in the audience. I loved it.

5. I was onstage with the Bolshoi Ballet as an extra when they performed on tour at the old O'Keefe Centre in Toronto. First one was "Romeo and Juliet", the other was "La Bayadere".

For the first one I had to brandish my sword as one of the warring families in time to the music at the close of Act I. In the other one I had to lift one side of a sedan chair carrying one of the performers onstage. The chair itself was extremely heavy.

6. While working at the now Hummingbird Centre (O'Keefe Centre) I saw Big Bird without his head smoking a cigarette. I believe I'm scarred for life.

7. I'm a Batman fanatic.

8. I must have been in grade five when my brother Jeff and I had a fight in the dining room. At the time there were pails of all kinds of paint. Jeff took one of these pails that had a skin over the top and assumed it would be safe to pretend to pour it over my head. It wasn't. The skin fell off and I got covered over my head and body with white paint. I was freaked. I tried to wash it off but it didn't seem to want to come off. I talked to my mother on the phone. She seemed to think all I needed was soap and water. So I did the best I could and walked off to school. I made quite an entrance. Everybody was laughing. My grandmother who was living with us quickly came to school and picked me up. My mom later found out that it was acrylic paint and I spent the rest of my night with her scrubbing terpentine into my hair and on my face. I still owe Jeff for that one.

I tag: Kelly, SciFiChick, Beccajane, Crowwoman, Miss Frou Frou, InterstellerLass, MichelleWriter and Julia.

May Movie Round-up

2007-06-03T12:31:00.000-07:00

Here’s a little challenge for those of you who watch a lot of movies, suggested to me by Jenny in Texas. Keep track of all the movies that you watch in a month and then list them at the end of the month on your Blog. I’ve been homebound for a couple of months so my new list is small and my re-viewed list is high (as I own most of them).

New

1. Spiderman 3 - Not quite as good as Spiderman 1 or 2, but still a lot of fun.

2. Night at the Museum - I enjoyed this thoroughly.

3. The Messengers - Ho-hum horror.

4. Eragon - Good actors + good source material + mediocre movie = bad director.

5. Walk the Talk - No laughs though I did smile throughout this Aussie comedy.

6. Signs & Wonders - Quietly effective drama about a man who allows himself to do things because of the signs that he thinks he sees.

7. The Birth of a Nation - Not the classic I thought it would be. Pretty lousy actually.

8. Utopia - Not bad Laurel and Hardy comedy.

Re-Viewed

9. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 - Arrrrr! ‘Tis a fine flick!

10. Sin City - One of my all time favorite movies.

11. The Exorcism of Emily Rose - this movie gets under my skin (that’s a compliment).

12. Phantom of the Paradise - I’ve loved this movie since I was a kid.

13. Time Bandits - one of the best pre-Harry Potter family fantasies.

14. 28 Days Later - really good zombie flick.

15. Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - a confusing story if you are not familiar with the game (I’m not) but makes up for it through the sheer beauty of it’s animation.

16. The Corpse Bride - I enjoy this film more each time I watch it.

17. A Dirty Shame - John Waters at his prime.

18. Batman Begins - Now that’s a Batman movie!

19. Bubba Ho-Tep - Bruce Campbell gets another great character to add to his repertoire.

20. The Woods - you’ve just got to like a movie directed by someone named Lucky McGee.

21. Haeckel’s Tale (Masters of Horror) - mediocre horror tale.

22. The Aristocrats - I can’t get over the glee that overtakes these comedians in the telling of this one fowl little tale. Too hilarious for words.

23. Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace - Okay... not as good as the first (last?) trilogy but still has that great lightsabre duel with Darth Maul at the end.

24. Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones - Better than The Phantom Menace; and Yoda with a lightsabre is classic.

25. Saw - Less bloody on a second viewing than I remembered, but still intense and grim viewing.

26. Team America: World Police - The height in low-brow humor. I loved it.

27. American Splendor - This is a well made and loving look at this curmudgeon.

28. Constantine - I liked it, though I have not read the comics. (It always strikes me as odd that people complain when a movie isn't the same as the comic. It's a different medium; one where compromise is the key to getting anything made).

29. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Tim Burton really shines here. Danny Elfman’s score is great.

30. Undead - Funny Aussie horror spoof comedy.

Thursday Thirteen #2 - Brad Needs...

2007-05-30T16:46:00.000-07:00

You probably know the drill by now. But if not, here goes:

Go to the Google search field, type in your name plus the word 'needs'. Hit enter and the fun ensues.

1. Brad needs to get real with himself and the people he claims to love.

I've been fictional for far too long.

2. Brad needs babies.

I have nothing to hold the door open with.

3. Brad needs transitional care in order to cope with the problems arising out of his closed head injury.

'Nuff said.

4. Brad needs a new pair of wrestling shoes.

The old pair are fighting in the closet with my samurai sandals.

5. Brad needs a Foster.

Do they mean a foster parent, a foster child or a Foster's lager?

6. Brad needs a cordless, lapel microphone.

Just speak into this flower here...

7. Brad needs to attend EVERY premiere dressed in a tuxedo!

My straightjacket just wasn't cuttin' it.

8. Brad needs to stop acting crazy.

I keep telling them, it's not acting!

9. Brad needs to open up and come clean.

It sounds painful.

10. Brad needs another butt!

I've already worked my ass off.

11. Brad needs to hit the gym in order to kick Skeletor's ass.

Now I'm supposed to exercise to look good next to comic book characters?

12. Brad needs something to do while she's shooting.

Playstation II

13. Brad needs a broom shoved up his arse.

Listen, I've said it before. This is the absolute worst way to sweep the floor.

Thursday Thirteen #1 - Movies That Are Guilty Pleasures

2007-05-23T13:22:00.000-07:00

Guilty Pleasure films are those movies that you like but couldn't recommend to anyone else. In my case, a number of these films are sentimental because I enjoyed them as a child. The others just fit in with my quirky personality. Please don't judge me too harshly. The following are in no particular order.

1. "Grizzly" - "Jaws" was way too terrifying for me, but this Jaws rip-off was just my speed. Besides, how could I resist a movie with a tagline like "18 Feet of Gut-Crunching, Man-Eating Terror".

2. "The Land That Time Forgot" - Doug MacLure at his best. The effects were ambitious but bad. It (and it's sequel "The People That Time Forgot")had a great sense of fun and adventure.

3. "The Car" - You know that they're going to use "It's Hell on Wheels" for the tagline. For my money, "The Car" was more entertaining than "Christine" - the other possessed car movie.

4. "Tideland" - I don't know who I'd recommend this recent release to except Terry Gilliam compleatists . Jodelle Ferland's performance is fabulous. She carries the film on her shoulders with ease.

5. "The Ninth Configuration" - Most people that I know who have seen this have said "What?" The philosphical debate about science versus God is played out behind the walls of an insane asylum. It is quite funny. Directed by William Peter Blatty.

6. "The Exorcist III" - Not as good as "The Exorcist" but hey what is. Similiar in tone to "The Ninth Configuration" (more thought provoking then scary). Directed by William Peter Blatty, based on his book "Legion".

7. "Silent Hill" - My wife rolled her eyes. My friends look at me like I've lost it. I don't care that there are plot holes or some bad acting. I like the movie; so there! End of story.

8. "Ice Pirates" - This movie is so juvenile that I'm embarrassed to let anyone know. Oh well, I made the rules - I've got to live with it.

9. "Critters" (and "Critters 2") - These movies have people being terrorized by spikey hand puppets who turn themselves into speedy tumbleweeds. Fun, yes?

10. "Galaxy of Terror" - I walked out the first time I went to see it. As it turned out I walked out too early. This movie is real bad but in an "it's so bad it's good" way.

11. "Airport '75" - This is the only "Airport" film that used actual airplanes instead of models. For some reason the mixture of aeriel footage along with cheesy acting is perfect for me.

12. "The Untold Story" -This film had one of the most violent scenes I that I've ever seen on film. This isn't a recommendation; it's a warning. Don't watch this one unless you want to be disturbed. Anthony Wong, who won the equivelent of the best actor Oscar in Hong Kong, is the only reason to recommend this flick.

13. "Meet the Feebles" - An adult "The Muppet Show". Directed by Peter Jackson of "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy fame. 'Nuf said!

The Two Jennys

2007-05-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to get the hang of this blogging thing. At first, I had to ask my wife "What now?" (I had expected the world to come to my doorstep). She reminded me that no one knew that I existed, which I took some exception to.

So, the next thing I had to do was go out to other blogs, read them and add a comment to their websites. Easier said than done for a picky bastard like myself. I found myself on Google's Blog Search looking for people with similar interests, mainly movies (my personal obsession). It took me hours before I stumbled upon a young lady named Jenny from Texas. My wife was born in Texas, so I took it as a good sign. Jenny likes to review the movies that she watches and she watches a lot of movies. Her reviews are down-to-earth opinions, not the holier-than-thou thesis papers like some websites.

I left my favorable views on her blog and decided to look around some more. I couldn't seem to find anything that struck me (except my wife, striking me to get me off the computer).

The next day I decided that I wanted to check to see if there was a response at Jenny's site. I had forgotten to bookmark the web address so it took me another half hour or so to locate it. Or so I thought. As it turned out there was another Jenny who had the same pink template. Her blog was quite funny. She gives quirky views on life and opinionated views on movies. She's a nanny who lives in Los Angeles and is writing a screenplay. My wife was a nanny and has a BAA in Filmmaking. Heaven's above, another sign.

Alright! This is where it starts; with Two Jennys ... and now an Annette (Welcome! Welcome!) So ,now, finally will the world come to my doorstep? ;)

The Coronet: The Real Grindhouse

2007-05-02T14:39:00.000-07:00

I am a fan of "Grindhouse". It was over-the-top and gross and I loved every minute of it. I think one reason it hasn't done very well (aside from the fact that it is over 3 hours long and that it's an anthology film - usually box office poison)is that most people nostalgic for Grindhouse cinema were probably drunk at the time.

The majority of my life I lived in Toronto, and on it's main street (Yonge Street) there were two Grindhouse cinemas. I can't remember the name of one but the other was The Coronet. The marquee screamed "4 Great Hits for $5.00" They would get the movies and keep them for a month before changing.

My friend Aymen and I decided we wanted to watch "The Exorcist" and "The Howling" so we went to the Coronet (yes, they did have trashier films on the menu as well).

The inside of the theatre was an experience. Seats were missing and/or smashed. Mice ran along the sticky floors. Many of the patrons were vagrants (since the theatre ran about 20 out of 24 hours, this became a suitable shelter for sleeping). Fights broke out. The smell of stale popcorn and pop mixed with urine. People screamed and shouted for no apparent reason. The movie print was in rough shape.

We made it through "The Exorcist" but decided to get out while the gettin' was good. "Grindhouse" reminded of that time. Good times, good times.

Hello

2007-04-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

Hello Dear Readers and my profound apologies for the tardiness of my posting. I made up the title for this blog a couple of weeks ago and then didn't really know how to proceed. Like a venus flytrap, I've grabbed 9 bloggers so far(probably those jolly Pythoneers expecting a picture of John Cleese doing his "silly walk" from the Ministry of Silly Walks Sketch, et al).

I suppose it's only fair that I explain what this blog is about; well, it's about me, I guess. I live with bipoplar disorder, so it's sure to always be fun and lively. In fact, that is the inspiration for the title, life being the cupboard that my head is stuck in (perhaps to save confusion I should have entitled it "I Cannot Extricate My Brain-Pan From the Wooden Receptacle of Life")

My wife is currently writing a vampire novel as is my dog, Xena, leaving me as the only one not actively writing at the moment. Thus I now have a blog, to enrich you with my wisdom... well, maybe tomorrow.