You probably know the drill by now. But if not, here goes:
Go to the Google search field, type in your name plus the word 'needs'. Hit enter and the fun ensues.
1. Brad needs to get real with himself and the people he claims to love.
I've been fictional for far too long.
2. Brad needs babies.
I have nothing to hold the door open with.
3. Brad needs transitional care in order to cope with the problems arising out of his closed head injury.
'Nuff said.
4. Brad needs a new pair of wrestling shoes.
The old pair are fighting in the closet with my samurai sandals.
5. Brad needs a Foster.
Do they mean a foster parent, a foster child or a Foster's lager?
6. Brad needs a cordless, lapel microphone.
Just speak into this flower here...
7. Brad needs to attend EVERY premiere dressed in a tuxedo!
My straightjacket just wasn't cuttin' it.
8. Brad needs to stop acting crazy.
I keep telling them, it's not acting!
9. Brad needs to open up and come clean.
It sounds painful.
10. Brad needs another butt!
I've already worked my ass off.
11. Brad needs to hit the gym in order to kick Skeletor's ass.
Now I'm supposed to exercise to look good next to comic book characters?
12. Brad needs something to do while she's shooting.
Playstation II
13. Brad needs a broom shoved up his arse.
Listen, I've said it before. This is the absolute worst way to sweep the floor.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #1 - Movies That Are Guilty Pleasures
Guilty Pleasure films are those movies that you like but couldn't recommend to anyone else. In my case, a number of these films are sentimental because I enjoyed them as a child. The others just fit in with my quirky personality. Please don't judge me too harshly. The following are in no particular order.
1. "Grizzly" - "Jaws" was way too terrifying for me, but this Jaws rip-off was just my speed. Besides, how could I resist a movie with a tagline like "18 Feet of Gut-Crunching, Man-Eating Terror".
2. "The Land That Time Forgot" - Doug MacLure at his best. The effects were ambitious but bad. It (and it's sequel "The People That Time Forgot")had a great sense of fun and adventure.
3. "The Car" - You know that they're going to use "It's Hell on Wheels" for the tagline. For my money, "The Car" was more entertaining than "Christine" - the other possessed car movie.
4. "Tideland" - I don't know who I'd recommend this recent release to except Terry Gilliam compleatists . Jodelle Ferland's performance is fabulous. She carries the film on her shoulders with ease.
5. "The Ninth Configuration" - Most people that I know who have seen this have said "What?" The philosphical debate about science versus God is played out behind the walls of an insane asylum. It is quite funny. Directed by William Peter Blatty.
6. "The Exorcist III" - Not as good as "The Exorcist" but hey what is. Similiar in tone to "The Ninth Configuration" (more thought provoking then scary). Directed by William Peter Blatty, based on his book "Legion".
7. "Silent Hill" - My wife rolled her eyes. My friends look at me like I've lost it. I don't care that there are plot holes or some bad acting. I like the movie; so there! End of story.
8. "Ice Pirates" - This movie is so juvenile that I'm embarrassed to let anyone know. Oh well, I made the rules - I've got to live with it.
9. "Critters" (and "Critters 2") - These movies have people being terrorized by spikey hand puppets who turn themselves into speedy tumbleweeds. Fun, yes?
10. "Galaxy of Terror" - I walked out the first time I went to see it. As it turned out I walked out too early. This movie is real bad but in an "it's so bad it's good" way.
11. "Airport '75" - This is the only "Airport" film that used actual airplanes instead of models. For some reason the mixture of aeriel footage along with cheesy acting is perfect for me.
12. "The Untold Story" -This film had one of the most violent scenes I that I've ever seen on film. This isn't a recommendation; it's a warning. Don't watch this one unless you want to be disturbed. Anthony Wong, who won the equivelent of the best actor Oscar in Hong Kong, is the only reason to recommend this flick.
13. "Meet the Feebles" - An adult "The Muppet Show". Directed by Peter Jackson of "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy fame. 'Nuf said!
1. "Grizzly" - "Jaws" was way too terrifying for me, but this Jaws rip-off was just my speed. Besides, how could I resist a movie with a tagline like "18 Feet of Gut-Crunching, Man-Eating Terror".
2. "The Land That Time Forgot" - Doug MacLure at his best. The effects were ambitious but bad. It (and it's sequel "The People That Time Forgot")had a great sense of fun and adventure.
3. "The Car" - You know that they're going to use "It's Hell on Wheels" for the tagline. For my money, "The Car" was more entertaining than "Christine" - the other possessed car movie.
4. "Tideland" - I don't know who I'd recommend this recent release to except Terry Gilliam compleatists . Jodelle Ferland's performance is fabulous. She carries the film on her shoulders with ease.
5. "The Ninth Configuration" - Most people that I know who have seen this have said "What?" The philosphical debate about science versus God is played out behind the walls of an insane asylum. It is quite funny. Directed by William Peter Blatty.
6. "The Exorcist III" - Not as good as "The Exorcist" but hey what is. Similiar in tone to "The Ninth Configuration" (more thought provoking then scary). Directed by William Peter Blatty, based on his book "Legion".
7. "Silent Hill" - My wife rolled her eyes. My friends look at me like I've lost it. I don't care that there are plot holes or some bad acting. I like the movie; so there! End of story.
8. "Ice Pirates" - This movie is so juvenile that I'm embarrassed to let anyone know. Oh well, I made the rules - I've got to live with it.
9. "Critters" (and "Critters 2") - These movies have people being terrorized by spikey hand puppets who turn themselves into speedy tumbleweeds. Fun, yes?
10. "Galaxy of Terror" - I walked out the first time I went to see it. As it turned out I walked out too early. This movie is real bad but in an "it's so bad it's good" way.
11. "Airport '75" - This is the only "Airport" film that used actual airplanes instead of models. For some reason the mixture of aeriel footage along with cheesy acting is perfect for me.
12. "The Untold Story" -This film had one of the most violent scenes I that I've ever seen on film. This isn't a recommendation; it's a warning. Don't watch this one unless you want to be disturbed. Anthony Wong, who won the equivelent of the best actor Oscar in Hong Kong, is the only reason to recommend this flick.
13. "Meet the Feebles" - An adult "The Muppet Show". Directed by Peter Jackson of "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy fame. 'Nuf said!
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
The Two Jennys
I'm starting to get the hang of this blogging thing. At first, I had to ask my wife "What now?" (I had expected the world to come to my doorstep). She reminded me that no one knew that I existed, which I took some exception to.
So, the next thing I had to do was go out to other blogs, read them and add a comment to their websites. Easier said than done for a picky bastard like myself. I found myself on Google's Blog Search looking for people with similar interests, mainly movies (my personal obsession). It took me hours before I stumbled upon a young lady named Jenny from Texas. My wife was born in Texas, so I took it as a good sign. Jenny likes to review the movies that she watches and she watches a lot of movies. Her reviews are down-to-earth opinions, not the holier-than-thou thesis papers like some websites.
I left my favorable views on her blog and decided to look around some more. I couldn't seem to find anything that struck me (except my wife, striking me to get me off the computer).
The next day I decided that I wanted to check to see if there was a response at Jenny's site. I had forgotten to bookmark the web address so it took me another half hour or so to locate it. Or so I thought. As it turned out there was another Jenny who had the same pink template. Her blog was quite funny. She gives quirky views on life and opinionated views on movies. She's a nanny who lives in Los Angeles and is writing a screenplay. My wife was a nanny and has a BAA in Filmmaking. Heaven's above, another sign.
Alright! This is where it starts; with Two Jennys ... and now an Annette (Welcome! Welcome!) So ,now, finally will the world come to my doorstep? ;)
So, the next thing I had to do was go out to other blogs, read them and add a comment to their websites. Easier said than done for a picky bastard like myself. I found myself on Google's Blog Search looking for people with similar interests, mainly movies (my personal obsession). It took me hours before I stumbled upon a young lady named Jenny from Texas. My wife was born in Texas, so I took it as a good sign. Jenny likes to review the movies that she watches and she watches a lot of movies. Her reviews are down-to-earth opinions, not the holier-than-thou thesis papers like some websites.
I left my favorable views on her blog and decided to look around some more. I couldn't seem to find anything that struck me (except my wife, striking me to get me off the computer).
The next day I decided that I wanted to check to see if there was a response at Jenny's site. I had forgotten to bookmark the web address so it took me another half hour or so to locate it. Or so I thought. As it turned out there was another Jenny who had the same pink template. Her blog was quite funny. She gives quirky views on life and opinionated views on movies. She's a nanny who lives in Los Angeles and is writing a screenplay. My wife was a nanny and has a BAA in Filmmaking. Heaven's above, another sign.
Alright! This is where it starts; with Two Jennys ... and now an Annette (Welcome! Welcome!) So ,now, finally will the world come to my doorstep? ;)
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
The Coronet: The Real Grindhouse
I am a fan of "Grindhouse". It was over-the-top and gross and I loved every minute of it. I think one reason it hasn't done very well (aside from the fact that it is over 3 hours long and that it's an anthology film - usually box office poison)is that most people nostalgic for Grindhouse cinema were probably drunk at the time.
The majority of my life I lived in Toronto, and on it's main street (Yonge Street) there were two Grindhouse cinemas. I can't remember the name of one but the other was The Coronet. The marquee screamed "4 Great Hits for $5.00" They would get the movies and keep them for a month before changing.
My friend Aymen and I decided we wanted to watch "The Exorcist" and "The Howling" so we went to the Coronet (yes, they did have trashier films on the menu as well).
The inside of the theatre was an experience. Seats were missing and/or smashed. Mice ran along the sticky floors. Many of the patrons were vagrants (since the theatre ran about 20 out of 24 hours, this became a suitable shelter for sleeping). Fights broke out. The smell of stale popcorn and pop mixed with urine. People screamed and shouted for no apparent reason. The movie print was in rough shape.
We made it through "The Exorcist" but decided to get out while the gettin' was good. "Grindhouse" reminded of that time. Good times, good times.
The majority of my life I lived in Toronto, and on it's main street (Yonge Street) there were two Grindhouse cinemas. I can't remember the name of one but the other was The Coronet. The marquee screamed "4 Great Hits for $5.00" They would get the movies and keep them for a month before changing.
My friend Aymen and I decided we wanted to watch "The Exorcist" and "The Howling" so we went to the Coronet (yes, they did have trashier films on the menu as well).
The inside of the theatre was an experience. Seats were missing and/or smashed. Mice ran along the sticky floors. Many of the patrons were vagrants (since the theatre ran about 20 out of 24 hours, this became a suitable shelter for sleeping). Fights broke out. The smell of stale popcorn and pop mixed with urine. People screamed and shouted for no apparent reason. The movie print was in rough shape.
We made it through "The Exorcist" but decided to get out while the gettin' was good. "Grindhouse" reminded of that time. Good times, good times.
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